Friday, February 26, 2010

Communicating Through The Separation and Divorce Process

Since going through a separation and divorce pushes all kinds of emotional buttons, many people end up in lengthy verbal struggles. It's important to focus on your higher goals and to do so you must remain as non-reactive toward your spouse/ex as possible. You want to arrive at a settlement. Ask your coach and you team of lawyers and specialists to help you think and behave strategically.

Here are some tips to help you stay non-reactive and to think strategically during your divorce:

· Focus on Your Higher Mutual Goals.
Typically both adults in a divorce want the best financial situation for everyone in the family and the best possible care for their children. It is best if your lawyers, coaches, and other specialists bring you both back to these goals, but you can also keep your discussions on track by stating these mutual desires. Acknowledging where you agree or "come together" will create fewer opportunities to disagree and fight.

· Practice the Art of Negotiation.
Negotiation can only occur if you know and acknowledge what your ex wants in the divorce. It doesn't mean you have to give in, it means you can give something he or she wants in order to also hopefully receive something that you want in return.

· Pick Your Battles.
Face the fact that you will probably not get everything you want. Go for what is most important, but do it with grace and dignity. A good collaborative can help support and guide your decision-making.

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